A Rock Bigger Than Your Knee
When it comes to marriage-friendship and love comes first and then the proposal, right? Of course the two individuals are in a relationship before taking it to the next level, and when it comes time to propose…what is the most important thing to look at? The size of the diamond or the size of the love from the man proposing to you? The above picture was a post on my Instagram page to see just what some females think. Boy, were the answers awesome.
I believe that when a man is ready to propose to you that should mean more than anything else. Even the engagement ring. Why? Love isn’t a rarity in today’s world, marriage is. A marriage that will last, a marriage that can start a family or just a happy life, that is rare. The reason being? I was hoping you can give me an answer because I don’t know. A lot is said about how this generation is different from ones before us, but how different is it? The main difference I see is the growth of technology and mass media. That’s basically it to me. When the picture along with the question was posted on my Instagram, the answers were different, interesting and wild. Here are just a few of the responses.
“I’ll wear it around my neck because no one is going to be able to see it on my finger.”
“No, because no one is going to know that I’m engaged.”
(The names of the people who wrote those will remain nameless because there’s just way too many responses to get approval from.)
Ok, back to the post - those were just some of the simple responses and not so detailed and thought out. The one that hit me the most was the last one. To me, it’s like females notice big engagement rings more than guys do, and even if a guy does and still approaches you it goes to show he doesn’t care. Now, not all guys have that mentality but, there are guys who just simply act like dogs. What should matter most, (let’s get it clear, I’m speaking from my perspective) is that you know you’re engaged, and if the size of the ring discourages you but you still said yes, you don’t deserve the man.
Time for the better responses!
"I’ll wear it until he gets me a better one."
“Either he’s really cheap, or has little to no credit.”
“Yup. I won’t wear it tho, I’ll upgrade it myself and he can pay me back.”
“If you love someone and they love you, it shouldn’t matter.”
“If I loved him I’d tell him to wait cause obviously we can’t afford a wedding.”
“The right man would know that ring wouldn’t fly with me.”
“Yes. Not about the ring…and the proposal ring is an engagement which is temporary until the wedding ring.”
“I’ll say yes but I’ll expect a bigger ring later come wedding time. You have to wear it forever.”
“If he’s willing to spend the rest of his life with you that man really loves you the rest is just materialistic.”
“I would say yes! Love is not measured in a ring, money shouldn’t matter.”
“I would say yes, rings annoy me anyway.”
“It’s forever. I deserve at best 3 carats. Size matters. I’m just being honest.”
“…Him showing up with that ring goes to show he doesn’t really know me.”
“Love isn’t measured by jewelry, by material things, some of the richest couples married couples who have everything are miserable…”
“Be thankful he is committing himself to you and only you!”
“-_- I’m going to punch you!”
That last one was pure gold!
After reading some of the responses, what do you think? Better yet, let me ask a better question - where in the picture does it say the guy can’t afford a better ring? Anyone? Anywhere? I can’t find it either. How far does assuming get you in the world we live in today? Not that far. The money part of some of these responses is what struck me the most. To assume a man can’t afford a wedding simply because of the size of the ring is ridiculous. Why was money brought up, though? Is it because these women are materialistic (if you’re reading this, no I DON’T think that about you), are they sold on the idea that an engagement ring defines how the wedding and marriage is going to be? If so, then the guy proposing to you is in the wrong hands.
I understand that some women aren’t necessarily materialistic, they just like nice things. A big fat rock to show off is one of them. Then again, what are you going to wear everyday throughout your marriage? Your wedding band or your engagement ring? We know the answer to that, unless, you know, you “like” nice things.
Back to some of the responses, I found the ones interesting to be how the guy who “really knows me” wouldn’t dare to propose to you with that type of ring. Why is that? If a man is willing to propose to you, he is willing to make you more apart of his life than you already are. Some say a ring or a marriage doesn’t matter, but it does. With that title comes great love, responsibility, and honor. Some may not abide by it but that doesn’t mean you wouldn’t. I honestly believe the toughest moment in a man’s life is when he is getting ready to drop down on one knee, and is preparing to ask you to be his wife. I would personally be crapping myself from morning to night, that’s just me. A ring that small can or cannot defines the man’s financial status; but it also doesn’t define his love and respect for you.
Worda from a writer on mommynoire.com really hit the nail on that head of what I’m trying to prove. “It doesn’t matter what my ring looks like! All I want is a physical symbol of your love that lets me know you have sincere intentions of marrying me” (Powell, Sid). This lady gets it! A physically symbol is what should really matter. If the idea in your head of the size of the ring affects your decision to say yes, then your answer should be a no. An engagement ring has nothing to do with the physical and emotional love you two both feel for one another, and if that time comes be prepared to ask yourself what really matters to you.
For instance, another one of the comments on the picture was a little like this: “I would accept it. If a woman is solid and loves a man, she will accept him as a rich or poor man…and if the woman thinks she’s too good for the ring, than the man is too good for her!” I love it. The last sentence from that comment is what love the most. It goes to show you that love and a man who is proposing to you is more about the ring in his hand, and the money in his pocket. What matters and should matter most, is the money on his and the woman covering her mouth in excitement and happiness. Once again, the picture doesn’t say anything about the money, so every comment regarding money and financial stability, I believe comes from some of these comments.
In all, this post was written to express my opinion, and to explain what the picture was really about. In no way does this apply to me. I’m single as a jingle, and when that time comes, I won’t disappoint. I applaud the man who gets on one knee, and I applaud the lady who says I do, no matter the size. I applaud both when they both say I do, and get to start and live their life together. Love is a beautiful thing, love applies to all of us. It’s more than just love in a relationship - love is about loving your family, friends, life and yourself. Love is more about a connection, a balance, friendship and being yourself. A wedding ring is a small symbol compared to the symbol of the vows you exchange before becoming man and wife.
Good luck and love to all!
You can share your opinions here, or follow me on Instagram and let me know what you think. My @ name is- you_sharmuta